I. Theme – Unworthiness
“Calling of Peter and Andrew’ – Duccio di Buoninsegna (1318/1319)
The lectionary readings are here or individually:
Old Testament – Isaiah 6:1-8, [9-13] Psalm – Psalm 138 Epistle – 1 Corinthians 15:1-11 Gospel – Luke 5:1-11
There’s a common theme running through all of today’s readings. That theme is “unworthiness.”
The unworthiness felt by Isaiah in the presence of the Lord; the unworthiness of St Paul even to be called an “apostle”; and the unworthiness of St Peter – who is so acutely aware of his own weakness, that he asks Jesus to go away: “Leave me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.”
A sense of unworthiness is probably something most of us experience at some time or another. We may feel unworthy for a particular task, unworthy of another’s trust, unworthy of another’s love. And that’s not surprising. We know our failings and our weaknesses better than anyone. When someone puts their trust in us, even though we want to do our very best for them, we are afraid – afraid that we’re not up to the task. And sometimes, sadly, we’re not. Sometimes we do fail, sometimes we do let others down, sometimes we do betray their trust.
In calling Peter to become his disciple, Jesus places immense trust in him. Equally, some might say, Peter’s willingness to put out the nets one more time, showed his trust in Jesus. Peter, after all, was a professional fisherman; he’d grown up alongside the Sea of Galilee. Jesus, on the other hand, came from Nazareth; he knew nothing of the sea or of fishing. So it does seem incredible that Peter should have gone along with Jesus’ suggestion when all his better instincts must have told him it was pointless.
What makes it all the more surprising is that, as far as we know, Peter has no particular reason to trust Jesus. At this point he probably doesn’t know him very well. Jesus hasn’t yet proved himself with any great miracles. So maybe it’s not trust we see in Peter’s response to Jesus, maybe it’s something else entirely. Peter, we can imagine, isn’t feeling too good about himself. The night’s fishing has been a complete disaster. He’s failed at the one thing he’s supposed to be good at. He is no doubt extremely tired, completely fed up. He’s been out all night; he needs some sleep.
He’s just finished packing up his nets and is about to head off home to bed, when along comes Jesus. He climbs into the boat, and starts one of his talks; a talk which goes on forever. When at last he’s finished, and just as Peter thinks he can get off home for a kip, Jesus tells him to head out into deep water and put out his nets. I’m not at all sure Peter’s response does demonstrate his trust in Jesus. I think it shows his complete exasperation, his irritation even: “Master we worked hard all night long and caught nothing – the fact is, there are no fish. I know it, James knows it, even young John knows it. Still, you know best, you say there are fish, so I’ll pay out the nets.” And it’s then, when Peter is at his lowest ebb, when he’s tired, irritable, feeling completely useless – that the miraculous catch of fish occurs.
Often, it’s when we are at our lowest, when we have failed, when we are most acutely aware of our weakness, that Jesus comes to us and works his miracles. And it’s then we have to trust in him, to launch out into deep water, knowing that it’s not our strength or our talents that matter, but his.
Fifth Sunday after the Epiphany